Clarinet in black and white major (only one image @ 800x800 pix)


matthew

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 11:30
I would like to insert this image for pure criticism as I think a experienced photographer would have the ability to express, compose and execute this set up and final image much better than me.


Clarinet in B&W major






A little light goes a long way, again one snoot used and black reflectors sheet music was printed on ivory paper rather than white to avoid burning out and loss of detail. Inspiration for this shot was provided by my dad (he set the challenge).


Matt

bwlchmawr

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 11:49
It's a good idea, Matthew. the three elements work well together and the conversion is clean and punchy. Good lighting, too. It must be hard to photograph an entire clarinet, unless you stitch a panorama together or indulge in some drastic cropping. You've obviously gone to great lengths to avoid losing highlights and this helps the image.

I see why you've used the dreamy white vignette but I'm not keen on the device. I'd probably separate pen from lid, as well. But these are minor points.
Best wishes,

Andrew

"These places mean something and it's the job of a photographer to figure-out what the hell it is."
Robert Adams
"The camera doesn't make a bit of difference. All of them can record what you are seeing. But, you have to SEE."
Ernst Hass
My website: http://www.ephotozine.com/user/bwlchmawr-199050 http://s927.photobucket.com/home/ADC3440/index
https://www.flickr.com/photos/78898196@N05

robbie_d

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 12:38
Hi Matthew.

I like the composition, you've kept it simple with the three elements (clarinet, pen and sheet music) and that makes for a strong image. I do agree with Andrew though that moving the pen lid away form the pen body a bit might help (minor point though). All the key elements seem sharp enough for me too.

I don't know whether it is due to aperture used or PP, but there is a rapid change in the in/out of focus sheet music in the bottom third of the picture, which I find a little distracting. It would be interesting to see a shot where this was all in focus (or a more gradual change).

I'm not keen on the white vignetting. I think it would look better if it were a black vignette, and it were uniformly applied (there's more at the top of the picture than the bottom, right hand side goes in and out a bit, etc.).

The key question is though, what did your Dad think? After all, he set the challenge!
If you can't say something nice about Pentax, you won't say anything at all.

Apparently.

johnriley

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 12:56
Very nice idea that just needs a bit of tweaking. The vignette does look uneven, although I don't dislike that aspect as such. Just perhaps try to balance it out a bit more.

I'd also experiment with Sepia or Selenium toning effects, maybe other colours, but certainly those two.

If this was a traditional darkroom print I'd be looking at Selenium toning personally.
Best regards, John

robbie_d

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 12:57
Hadn't though of that John. I think that would work very well.
If you can't say something nice about Pentax, you won't say anything at all.

Apparently.

matthew

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 14:42
I have taken your advice and resubmitted the images as suggested.

if you still think the pen top need to go I will have to re-shoot as I don't have one with out the pen lid, when I shot this I thought the lid added balance to the pen and shot

Clarinet in B&W major





would the image improve with a better frame ?

Matt

robbie_d

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 14:45
Matthew, I think removing the vignetting, changing the border and adjusting the tone has made it a much stronger image overall.
If you can't say something nice about Pentax, you won't say anything at all.

Apparently.

thoughton

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 14:48
I quite like it, good idea and execution. I agree that the pen and cap would look better if they weren't touching, but on the other hand I also question the inclusion of the pen. If there was pen marks on the paper then yes I can see why it's in the frame, but as it stands it seems a bit random.

I'm with the others about the white vignette. I think it needs to be more even so it actually looks like a naturally occurring vignette and not just something you added later. I would also prefer black, but that is my personal preference.

I also think you should crop off the bottom third of the image (all of the OOF notation) so the black part of the clarinet meets the bottom left corner of the frame.

Edit: this post was sitting in my browser window for about an hour before I clicked submit, hence it's a bit out of date The new version works much better for me.
Tim
AF - Pentax K5, Sigma 10-20/4-5.6, Tamron 17-50/2.8, Sigma 30/1.4, Sigma 70-200/2.8, Tamron 70-300/4-5.6
MF - Vivitar CF 28/2.8, Tamron AD2 90/2.5, MTO 1000/11
Stuff - Metz 58 AF1, Cactus v4, Nikon SB24, Raynox 150, Sigma 1.4x TC, Sigma 2x TC, Kenko 2x macro TC, Redsnapper 283 tripod, iMac 27, Macbook Pro 17, iPad, iPhone 3G
Flickr Fluidr PPG Street Portfolio site
Feel free to edit any of my posted photos! If I post a photo for critique, I want brutal honesty. If you don't like it, please say so and tell me why!
Last Edited by thoughton on 28/06/2010 - 14:52

johnriley

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 14:54
Perhaps the pen would make more sense if the music score had some annotations on, made with the pen. The colour is now just gorgeous and does make a difference.
Best regards, John

techno-terminator

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 15:10
changing the colour has greatly improved it and somehow it has brought out the mottling of the laquer on the pen cap - : Parker Duofold link.

I notice that the metal work on the Clarinet itself is now a little softer and , I think, more attractive.

I'm not commenting on the technical aspects - I don't know enough - I'm commenting on the image I see - and I like what I see .
let the education continue

proud owner of a couple of cameras and a few bits and bobs

thoughton

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 15:21
PS I like your frame on the sepia version. Simple, effective, and classy.
Tim
AF - Pentax K5, Sigma 10-20/4-5.6, Tamron 17-50/2.8, Sigma 30/1.4, Sigma 70-200/2.8, Tamron 70-300/4-5.6
MF - Vivitar CF 28/2.8, Tamron AD2 90/2.5, MTO 1000/11
Stuff - Metz 58 AF1, Cactus v4, Nikon SB24, Raynox 150, Sigma 1.4x TC, Sigma 2x TC, Kenko 2x macro TC, Redsnapper 283 tripod, iMac 27, Macbook Pro 17, iPad, iPhone 3G
Flickr Fluidr PPG Street Portfolio site
Feel free to edit any of my posted photos! If I post a photo for critique, I want brutal honesty. If you don't like it, please say so and tell me why!
Last Edited by thoughton on 28/06/2010 - 15:21

ChrisA

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 17:50
This sort of thing needs to have a certain credibility about it for it to have the right effect.

It's the pen, I'm afraid. No musician would be writing notes on sheet music using a fountain pen, and if the pen is being used for scripting the music, it would have to be manuscript rather than printed music.

So the pen spoils the composition for me, by making the whole look contrived. A pencil would be better, since it would be completely believable.

Other than that, it's er, awesome...

(Edit: although, is there a cloning error in the top left hand corner, now that the vignette's been removed? That lone treble clef looks a bit random.)
.
Pentax K-3, DA18-135, DA35 F2.4, DA17-70, DA55-300, FA28-200, A50 F1.7, A100 F4 Macro, A400 F5.6, Sigma 10-20 EXDC, 50-500 F4.5-6.3 APO DG OS Samsung flash SEF-54PZF(x2)
.
Last Edited by ChrisA on 28/06/2010 - 17:53

bwlchmawr

Link Posted 28/06/2010 - 18:43
A much improved image, in my opinion. I like the gentle, tasteful tone and that frame is much less fussy, working well with the straight lines of the music and the instrument.
Best wishes,

Andrew

"These places mean something and it's the job of a photographer to figure-out what the hell it is."
Robert Adams
"The camera doesn't make a bit of difference. All of them can record what you are seeing. But, you have to SEE."
Ernst Hass
My website: http://www.ephotozine.com/user/bwlchmawr-199050 http://s927.photobucket.com/home/ADC3440/index
https://www.flickr.com/photos/78898196@N05

i-Berg

Link Posted 02/07/2010 - 10:38
I also like the idea Matthew, and the second version is indeed an improvement all round as observed by others. I agree with Chris about the pen though - it's all pencil
http://www.pbase.com/iberg

techno-terminator

Link Posted 02/07/2010 - 10:43
I'll agree re the pencil v pen BUT both my daughters [ violists and clarinettist ] did actually use pens at times for marks on music . They used pencil until convinced of the markings and then used pen [ with permanent ink]

Also the use of the fountain pen on the final version helps to give the 'age' of the picture .
let the education continue

proud owner of a couple of cameras and a few bits and bobs
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